Wednesday, July 14, 2010

Best Man's Speech of Doom

The speech finally hit my in box on Friday though I was not aware of its arrival till the Saturday when I logged on. This is partly down to the appalling mobile phone coverage that afflicts Suffolk and in equal parts due to me not bothering to charge my phone. Anyway it was there at last but a hectic rush on the Saturday meant that I wrote it out long hand between 2PM and 3PM that afternoon with the intention of going over it a few times when time allowed. Time subsequently allowed me nothing and the first chance I got to look at it was when I was called upon to present it to the assembled masses at the wedding. It was at this point I froze - it would be no exaggeration to say that I completely and utterly seized and wished that the ground would open up and swallow me. After what seemed like an eternity of looking at these sheets of paper that had somehow translated themselves in a fit of spite to a combination of hieroglyphics and Cyrillic script and a couple of false starts I put the offending sheets back in my pocket and came up with what I could remember off the top of my head.

Quite what I said I have no idea but it seemed to work - I am now hoping that no one recorded the event and it will eventually become the stuff of legend and myth and that will be that.

Other than my dying at the vital moment it all went swimmingly well as far as I can remember.

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