Italy Days 1-4

Day 1

Given all the hassle of getting here it was no surprise that I was a bit shaky on the first day - warmed up on what was probably the hardest 5b I have ever been on and got massively pumped in the process. Decided against leading the 5c next to it as it was overhanging and I was still trying to get some feeling back in my arms - turned out to be equally hard (at least a full grade out again) resulting in a single rest on the rope. Finished off by leading a 5a and seconding a 6a+ which I felt OK on and wished in retrospect that had led but in reality would probably have just had a nightmare with.

Day 2

Went down to a roadside crag - led off on a 5b and felt OK with it and then went to lead the 5c next to it. Now being a roadside crag it gets a lots of traffic so it was polished as hell and it also faced due south and given that the temprature was somewhere in the high 20's it was not a place that was going to suit me. Got to the first bolt and proceeded to suffer for my art before eventually throwing in the towel and retreating to the shade - seconded another easy route and belayed on one more before eventually giving it up as a bad job. Full sun and 28.5 degrees C ain't my idea of fun!

Day 3

At last the syke kicked in - 5b, 5c and two 6a+'s onsight - even though the climbing is that slabby technical type that I seem to excel at both 6a+'s felt pretty easy compared to how I would have expected so it is hard not to think that either the grades in this area are soft or I am getting better. Putting it down to me getting better and feeling confident I decided to try a 6b that looked piss but quickly came to the realisation that this was limestone we were climbing on and not grit so smearing was not just a matter of putting a foot in roughly the right place and standing up on it. Eventually worked out the sequence using some very small edges to get past the crux that I am reasonably happy will work as long as the tempratures are not too high and called it a day ready to return for a rematch.

Day 4

Not a lot of chance of getting anything done so far today as it is raining and has been for the last few hours. A rest day was probably in order anyway but given I have lost a couple of days it is hard to take one so the rain is possibly doing me a favour though it is hard to see it as one especially after yesterday...

Italy eventually...

Well I should have been in Italy now for six days now but due to a slight fuck up getting to the airport it has only been four!

Me being me I was running everything a bit tight timewise with getting to the airport and the like - normally it is possible to get away with this but this time the exception to the rule was invoked. Left Sheffield just after six as planned and made good progress down the M1 to the A14 turnoff with no problems but as soon as I made that turnoff my troubles began...  At the time I thought the delay was down to the widespread idiocy that prevails everywhere on the roads of the UK but it soon became apparent that something a bit more serious than the usual display of incompetence was going on. So there I was stuck somewhere on the A14 watching the small amount of time that I had allowed for delays get eroded away and to make this miserable experience all the more stressful I had chosen that morning to give up smoking again and it was also raining - it was not a happy time in the van.

Eventually I got to the airport carpark at 9.30am - five minutes after the gate closed for the flight I was supposed to be on. Cue an awful lot of swearing and a short while later a relapse on the cigarettes front. With nothing else to be done I got on the bus to the airport to arrange an alternative flight for the following day though as it turned out it was Thursday before I could fly. Nothing to do but book the flight, go visit the folks in Suffolk and prepare to go through it all again in two days time....

Caley

Had a great day being a punter at Caley on Saturday - didn't get up anything harder than a 5+ and got shutdown by the crag classic Mr Smooth due to a lack of commitment but a great day out regardless. Good crew and good banter - all you need really.

Considering that it was turning out to be the hottest day of the year so far conditions were pretty good in the woods but a quick trip to look at Chickenheads proved that anything that had been in the sun was not going down without a fight. For me it was more of a fight than I was prepared to put up taking into consideration I have got a flight booked to Italy for tomorrow morning.

Nice to go to a new crag though and as an added bonus it is only eight or ten miles from my mates house - I think that the autumn could be rather productive for the Yorkshire gritstone...

pROJECT mAYHEM II

There are two ways of kitting out a van.

Method 1. The sport climbing (redpoint) method:

1. Plan everything out meticulously leaving nothing to chance.
2. Buy the materials to implement the plan.
3. Execute successfully with a minimum of fuss.

Method 2. The trad climbing (onsight) method:

1. Sketch out a quick plan.
2. Buy some materials.
3. Faff about.
4. Revise the plan.
5. Buy some more materials.
6. Faff some more.
7. Revise the plan some more.
8. Execute with a lot of fuss and realise that you still have 90% of the materials left.

I chose the trad method - the end result was the same - I ended up with a van with a floor fitted as intended. However I don't think it would have been half as interesting, or enjoyable, had I chosen the sport method just because there is something so satisfying about solving things on the fly. Having said that there one thing I would do differently next time - make sure I have enough money left to buy a beer when it is all over as a day doing trad without a beer at the end of it is just ever so slightly wrong.

pROJECT mAYHEM

At the end of my last blog with regard to the boarding out of the van I wrote:

"You never know I might even have half a clue what I am doing come the end of the project!!"

These proved to be prophetic words - after what was at times the hardest four days of my life I finally have the floor down....

For now I will just post some pics and random comments up but I will go into a bit more detail on what has already been a fucking huge learning curve later.

Start off with an empty van like this:

Add in a frame so that the insulation has somewhere to sit.

I had already made up my mind to avoid drilling into the floor pan as it was going to be a right royal pain in the arse crawling under the van to seal all the screw holes that would result if I did. Instead I devised a cunning plan to tie the frame into the haulage loops (or whatever the proper name for them is). To be honest this really worked out well - short of a nuclear explosion there is no way that the frame will ever move.

Cut out insulated board and fit between the frame - this was by far the easiest part of the whole job.

Get the first board fitted - this was on the third day!! That's correct - two days to create and fit the frame and put in the insulation though to be fair I was somewhat hungover on the second day... Finally after four days and a lot of cursing and the like finish off boarding out the floor.

I should point out that somewhere between my last blog and the start of the boarding out process I had decided that this project was going to be called "Project Mayhem". There was no real reason for this other than I liked the name (and besides it pays homage to the truly excellent Fight Club). Still I suppose that if you are going to call it something like that then you really can't complain too much when it all goes a bit tonto... 8-)

Crooked Rain Crooked Rain

With the next four days set to be wet and just generally grim I now have no excuse not to start on the process of insulating and boarding out the van. I already have four sheets of plyboard, two sheets of 25mm insulation and a box of wood screws and having thought about it some more I am going to need a couple of 50mm insulation boards, maybe some non-rigid insualtion for the roof and some self tapping screws to fix the boards to the sides\rear doors.

More posts to follow which will hopefully show some sort of progress being made!! You never know I might even have half a clue what I am doing come the end of the project!!

Necessary lobotomy?

While sat at work today I somehow got to wondering just what would happen if Sloper, Chris Eubank and Jeremy Clarkson were trapped in a lift together. Would there be some sort of savage fight to the death, would they just carry on talking over each other until the oxygen supply was depleted or would they become bosom buddies?

As you can probably guess it has not been the busiest day at work I have ever had...