Regardless of what goes wrong in your life there is always Texts From Last Night which provides insights into a world that is even more screwed than mine. It also has the added advantage that it's cheaper than buying a copy of The Sun just to read the problem page...
- I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
- she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
- so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
- He told me his condom was going to expire tomorrow and he needed to use it. I can't believe I fell for it.
- i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
- Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
- she asked me what the final straw was. i had to tell her i caught him jerking off to digimon porn. i don't know what i'm more upset by, that he was masturbating to cartoons, or that he was masturbating to sub-par cartoons
- Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
- Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon
- Last night was epic. Hooked up with Emma Watson, found twenty bucks, and then passed out on my floor.
No you didn't. You drank unbelievable amounts of 151, passed out in someone else's bathroom, and we carried you back to your floor. Nice dreams though.
- my dog ran away and came back with a marajuana plant. what are you doing tonight?
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