All change

Not done much for a couple of weeks now following my so close but, yet again, so far away session on The Armoured Car Traverse. If it's not work getting in the way, it is social stuff or the weather putting the brake on stuff - last week we had damp, dreary conditions and they are much the same this time around albeit a bit more frozen.

Anyway it was supposed to have been the rearranged Boys Bouldering Trip this weekend but the white stuff put paid to any thoughts of heading north for my maiden trip to The County so the new plan was to go to Burbage to meet up with the boys instead. It was a pleasant enough day there - Baltic conditions reigned and a lot of stuff was either wet or covered in snow but the odd problem remained in OK nick which was more than could be said for me. I think hungover would be the word I am looking for. After watching various automotive punters making a complete mess of trying to get up the hill past Burbage Bridge we met up at Banana Finger. I have known about this problem for years but Saturday was was the first time I had ever looked at the problem let alone pulled on. Having got the greetings out of the way I squeaked the boots and after a couple of abortive attempts to size up the hangover versus physical effort problems found I could make the reach over to the first break with the pebble easily enough but was really struggling to get my feet in a position to match it. A few more goes came and went and then the SYKE was gone - it was just too cold, I was too hungover and just plain weak and so I have another project at Burbage to contend with.

Wandered about for a while and did a bit of spotting and the like and decided to risk a wander down to the Armoured Car on the off chance that it was good to go - of course it wasn't but we cleaned the holds off and Dear Boy had a couple of attempts at it but the remaining snow was just melting as soon as you touched it.

By this point it had got to late afternoon so we decided that we had done enough for the day and went to the pub to try and subjugate our collective hangovers. Can't speak for anyone else but it failed miserably on my account...

Pity the fool

It might well be for charity and all that but some things just shouldn't be encouraged...

Rewind Selector

Managed to get out last Friday for a quick session at Burbage South and another attempt at the Armoured Car Traverse - conditions were cool and very breezy but thankfully warmer than the flat I had retreated from - go figure!!

Started on what seem to have become the new warm up problems on the Brick boulder - conditions on anything that had been in the wind were pretty damned good but stuff that had been sheltered was not so good. They weren't bad as such - just not as good. Other than that it seemed like business as usual - problems got done and feeling ready for the task ahead it was a quick stomp through the bracken to the Armoured Car.

First go went OK until I cocked up the crux sequence but second go I matched my previous best and got the crimp for the right hand which was great for all of a brief nano-second till I realised that the crimp was a greasy slimefest. Back on the mat! Still it was encouraging as conditions had been nowhere near as good as the last time I had been out - then you could use the top of the boulder pretty much as you pleased - now it turned into a desperate search for those subtle slopers to try and attain success. So following a quick brush of the greasy crimp it was back to it again but it soon became obvious that this was a race against conditions as the odd spot of rain fell and the temperature steadily rose. Managed to get back to the crimp once more but greased off again and then the race was effectively over as the rain started to fall with more persistence. I huddled in the shelter of the traverse and rolled a cigarette while looking at the clouds trying to convince myself that the ones headed in my direction were not as full of rain as they obviously were. That worked for maybe five minutes but even the most sanguine person struggles in the face of a good soaking and with that it was decided to get back to the van before the rain set in properly.

Do I need to add that I was rather damp by the time I got back? Probably not...

It's all a bit meh!

Backtrack two days and Skippy was keen to do some stuff on a bit of string at The Edge. I say keen but the truth of the matter was he simply mentioned it and then let my over excitable brain provide the necessary SYKE to do the rest really. Anyway enough about my random psychology and onto tales of power and pulling hard on big lumps of brightly coloured plastic. What-ho!

It has been ages since I have climbed indoors and while it was OK in a pulling hard on big lumps of brightly coloured plastic sort of way there is also something just a little bit masochistic about it all as well. You are crammed into an area that is too small and which contains too many people whose primary aims would appear to be getting in the way and occasionally climbing. Add to that, when you are climbing, there is often little in the way of route finding to do - all too often it is just a matter of briefly studying the next bright piece of plastic and then making the move, clip and repeat. Oh and it's too bloody hot and while this is offset to a degree by the eye candy it really doesn't outweigh the negatives. Jeez, I seem to have become a grumpy old man overnight - maybe I should get one of these bad boys!


Anyway enough grizzling - routes wise I didn't exactly push the boat out but I felt that I climbed OK - my clipping was a bit woeful but other than that I felt smooth and no real wobbles to speak of so that was pleasing. Also it seems like the required stamina is there or thereabouts again though the real test will come with progression onto a few harder routes which will highlight any weaknesses a bit more. As it was I ticked off something like a 5 to warm up (on top rope) and then did a 5, 5+, 5+ and a 6a+ all clean on lead. The 6a+ was a pretty good route actually as it had a series of tufas to negotiate and made you really work your feet and while I wouldn't have argued with 6a for it I quite happily took (soft) 6a+ for the quick ego boost.

Ego sufficiently boosted I then got on another 6a+ which proved to be a little bit more tricky - this one proved interest by the bucket load as it featured the arête and holds on both sides - really technical and a complete bitch of a crux that I failed to negotiate. I hung in for a while trying to figure out a workable sequence to get past the hard section but nothing really seemed to work so, in lieu of that, I debated about throwing a lot of power at it. That seemed even less likely to work so with the pump in my arms building rapidly, I slumped onto the rope reasoning I would much rather have some sort of crux sequence where falling off was less of a likelihood - gaylord! Eventually I cobbled something together that got me through it but I feel pretty sure that I am missing something as it felt all wrong compared to the rest of the route - something to go back to next Wednesday then. Finished off with a 5 on the 18 degree board and that was the end of that - the SYKE had been extinguished.

Popped into the Sheaf on the way back for a well deserved pint of carbs in a glass and found lots of Police milling about looking at this. Oops!

Think of a name, any name...

Probably best to make sure that it doesn't have a second meaning though...

Back in the game

After two rather intense sessions of physio featuring chiropractic treatment, deep tissue massage and acupuncture the shoulder and ab problems have, thankfully, subsided for now. Same problem as before apparently - left shoulder muscles seizing up so now I have a regime of press-ups on non-climbing days to try and stop it happening for a third time. Oh joy but at least it doesn't cost money to do the regime.

In between the two sessions of physio I had a good day at Curbar with the Dear Boy, Skippy and his mate Pete or as he is known from now on 1k Excuses. Usual stuff really – did the slab problems below Gorilla Warfare and then onto the three main lines on the Prow. Considering the fact that I had only done the centre line a couple of weeks before, it was a bit worrying when it shut me down and while it did get done eventually, I would be hard-pressed to say I did it in style.

From there it was down to Trackside – Three Pocket problem went first time which I was pleased about because it's one of those problems I can either do or fail repeatedly on for reasons that are beyond me to explain. Perhaps it was a sign that the mantle problem had cleaned up considerably and was no longer the slimy grease-fest it had been a couple of weeks before and would therefore go first time. If so then it was a very accurate sign indeed.

Next up was the old favourite – Strawberries. Pulled on and rocked up into the high left hand which I knew as soon as I hit it wasn't quite right but decided that it would go regardless. Pulled hard and everything was looking quite good till about halfway through the move when the sidepull and my left hand violently decided to go their own separate ways with the outcome being a lot of skin loss and copious amounts of blood everywhere! I might well have sworn a bit at this point but I can't remember – probably fair to assume that I did though...

Once I had stopped bleeding profusely I then nailed Strawberries not once but twice, partly to prove a point but also because it felt bloody hard, though taking into account the pull is with the shoulder I had been having treatment on it shouldn't have been such a surprise really. It certainly wasn't the usual push over at Font 4+ that day I can tell thee.

Lastly I made progress on Crack 'n' Pockets to the point where I could get stood up in the break but finding the point of balance to go for the pockets wasn't really happening, possibly due to earlier blood loss but more likely because of finishing work at 7AM that morning. The right heel round the corner seems to work so I will assume it is right for now but I have a nagging feeling that when I do get it right I am going to come up a couple of inches short of the pockets or just end up horribly stretched out if I can reach them. Still it's a problem that seems to suit me so I will be back for another go soon.

The call has gone out.

Monday found me at Cratcliffe and conditions should have been good in theory - it was cold and the temperature was low but the grit was just not playing ball. The reality of the situation was a bit of a horror show for friction, something I initially put it down to having an off day but it was later confirmed by FatBoySlimFast on UKB that it was the same everywhere. Given that I went there to try the arête on the Egg Boulder - friction based climbing at its best - this was not good news and after an encounter with someone who could well have been closely related to the Dawes judging by the randomness of the conversation we had, I sacked it off.

Fast forward two days and the situation changed completely - if pROJECT mAYHEM had such a thing as a grit light it would have been shining like a huge techno-playing lighthouse to warn people that the grit had been called. Even better I could get out there to see this momentous first day in and I was armed with a big tick list on a day that the friction was so good that it felt like I was cheating.

Days such as these need a plan and so, with Adam Beyer testing the speakers, it was off to Burbage to warm up and then onwards to Mother Cap for a session on Conan the Librarian. After a couple of duff starts on the Brick I sent most of the problems there first time and from there it was onto the Briquette to try Huggy - a problem that I have a history with that needs laying to rest. Gave it a quick brush, pulled on and promptly tweaking an ab injury that has been annoying me off and on for a while in the process.

Deciding to leave that well alone instead of aggravating things further I went to try the Armoured Car Traverse and after a couple of attempts managed to get back to my previous best - the drop onto the sidepull for the left hand - and from there managed to get the crimp for the right. A new best was attained but my excitement was quickly tempered by the realisation that I may have two decent holds for the hands but my feet were planted and not going anywhere so I dropped off and thought about the sequence into the handholds some more. After contemplating about it for a while I managed to refine the sequence so that I wasn't so stretched going to the handholds and tried again without much success - I was rushing to get back to the new baseline but the end result was not getting there at all. The moves were also playing havoc with my other niggling injury in my left shoulder but with the conditions being so good I just kept stretching it out and hoping that things didn't get any worse. Another couple of attempts and I was feeling a lot smoother going into the sidepull so it was time for the big push - it was going to go. Armed with the syke of knowing that a long term project is close, I traversed across and dropped into the sidepull, concentrated on the crimp to a whole new level and once happy with it, started to rock across. My shoulder protested some more about this but I ignored it and instead, spurred on by the knowledge that this was now my last attempt off the day, I got the good hold for the right, matched my feet and planted the right foot across ready to go for the huge holds and glory. Well that was the plan - my shoulder had other ideas about things though and its protests were no longer going to be ignored and so, with another quick twinge from my ab for good measure, I was back on the mat. The final whistle had been blown on the day - there was no extra time to be played in this match - it was simply over, finished, gone, done, out...

I just sat there with my head in my hands and railed against the injustice of it all - I had pretty much done the hard moves, it was almost a path from where I came off, conditions were perfect and my useless lump of a body had given up under the effort. Even now, 24 hours later, I'm still not sure whether I am more pissed off about the fact that I dropped the relatively easy finishing moves, that I now have not one but two injuries which need attention or that I let good conditions and syke get the better of my common sense. Gutted!