pROJECT mAYHEM Update III

No success on finding someone who can get the ECU rebuilt - every potential lead turns into yet another wasted phone call.

No success on finding the donor parts to transplant to pROJECT mAYHEM.

Cost of a new ECU from VW - £914.22 plus a further £35 or thereabouts on getting it all synched up and as if that wasn't enough VW want to run their own diagnostics to check it all out before they order a replacement ECU as if the ECU is not at fault then it can't be returned.

I fucking hate this - there seems to be no respite, no let up, nothing. Here I am trying to live out my own small dream and it is turning into a nightmare of such massive proportions that I am questioning whether I actually have it in me to see it through to the end. The thing is deep in my heart I know that I have to see it through to the end, I can't walk away no matter how tempting it is because the stubborn streak that resides within me won't let me. I am at one with Sisyphus.

The Gap Sequence

Been reading Stephen Donaldsons "The Gap Sequence" - I am currently about a 130 pages into the third book in the series and it is just getting steadily more addictive.

Nominally Sci-fi it is seriously dark in places to say the least dealing with rape, psychological trauma and extremes of violence it just keeps building and building interwoven plot lines one over the other to a point where you have no idea whose agenda is whose and what their real intentions are. The one thing you do know is that as soon as you think you have half an idea what someones agenda is it will all be pulled out from underneath you with an entirely plausible but unexpected twist of the plot.

Go and buy this book but be warned it is not easy reading...

pROJECT mAYHEM update II

pROJECT mAYHEM is slowly but surely turning into a money pit of infinite proportions it would seem. The ECU came back with the imnmobiliser turned off and it made no difference to the issues that it is suffering so the ECU is at fault - if I thought that things couldn't get any worse I was proved wrong on a grand scale.

The mission now is to to either get the ECU rebuilt, find a replacement one from a breakers yard or buy a new one from VW. All of these scenarios have issues - getting the ECU rebuilt is going to be hard as it is such a new van and from preliminary investigations the guys out there who do this sort of work haven't get the tech to do this yet. Replacing the ECU with one from a breaker also requires that the immobiliser and the keys are taken from the same vehicle as the three are all interlinked together - replace one or two parts and it simply won't work so it is all three parts or bust. The final option is to take it to a dealer which is going to be rape of epic proportions on a financial scale.

Doom, fucking doom!!

Old Skool Dog Porn!!!

pROJECT mAYHEM update

Just had the man who is looking at pROJECT mAYHEM's electronics issues on the phone. I think he must have deliberately phoned during the massive thunder storm for dramatic purpose as the news wasn't very good. They have found the relay that was not working properly and replaced that but it still refuses to start every time so now it is either the ECU that is not working properly or it is the immobiliser not releasing which is causing the issues. The up\downside of this is that the ECU has gone to a very nice man to be tested - if it passes then the immobiliser is at fault, if it fails then the bill gets that little bit bigger to the tune of £175.

With regards to the bill, I have no doubt that it is going to be of epic proportions anymore as it has been mentioned more than once that it is an absolute swine to work on due to the ECU being located under the battery tray etc. so this possible extra added onto it has been accepted with about as much sanguinity as it is possible to muster.

Fuck it - I will allow myself a quick utterance of "Doom" - I deserve it!!

Tottering piles of choss

I have this severe problem with climbing on limestone in this country of the bolted variety as the choice of routes within my grade range tend to be completely heinous and loose nightmarish choss. Still a few days out of commission due to pROJECT mAYHEM being in the garage in an attempt to resolve the steadily worsening electrical problems meant that it was go and climb on bolted choss or spend another evening sat about feeling fat. Given the choices laid out before me it was not a hard decision to take up the offer of a trip to Intake Quarry.

Matt started off up some 6b which looked quite pleasant till the final moves where it got a bit nasty to say the least but at least not too many bits fell off it and the sun was shining on us so it was actually quite pleasant. Next up was Duncan on an arete that looked like it was denying gravity by some power known only to itself but it dispatched with not too much fuss though there was the odd comment about the general lack of rock quality.

Two routes and no real drama of a rock fall variety though the party climbing to our left were taking up the slack by pulling down large sections of the crag with considerable ease and throwing in some top quality cursing as a bonus.

My turn. I decided to second the arete and unsurprisingly I was feeling a bit spooked after the goings on of the party to our left - a feeling that wasn't helped when I pulled on and promply pulled off a large hand hold... Great! Anyway I udged, bumbled and slumped my way up the route with a great lack of style and eventually got to the top feeling considerably less than motivated.

Matt tried another route that seemed almost as unpleasant his warm up for the evening and then we stomped off to the Take Away Wall in the search of something that might be a bit more promising and by God we found it. OK it was a small wall - three bolts and a lower off but it was solid and looked inviting. It was also had a couple of lines in the grade range that I can operate in.

Dunc dispatched the hardest line on the wall and Matt did the same and so it was my turn - with a bit of prompting I went for the 6a line "The Big Take Out". Syke still wasn't exceptionally high but after getting the start done I was into the route - past the first bolt, get the second bolt clipped and I was actually enjoying the experience. Get through the crux, make another couple of spicy moves and clip the third bolt and then finish up the rather interesting top section that feels like another bolt wouldn't be considered totally unnecessary and clip the chain.

This is not how UK bolted limestone is supposed to be! This stuff flows and is interesting and above all is solid. OK it is a bit short but regardless I will be back to tick off a few more routes on this wall because it's a rare diamond and so must be treasured.

Unadulterated Genius

Just found this posted on one of the many forums that I frequent on a random basis:

"WCMUT [what cheered me up today] was the wife phoning me to say she still can't get Channel4, C4+1 and E4 etc. I told her Virgin are going to come round Monday and have a look at the box.

Little does she know I have locked the channels out

Big Brother can fuck right off."

I will report back when his wife finds out what he has done as you just know that this brilliant masterplan it is going to backfire in some hilarious way...